I just wanted to let you know that I met a bike a couple of months ago. I have been riding her here and there, but didn't get too close because she made my crotch sore. Well, after riding her for a while I got used to the feeling. In fact, I am riding her daily to school if you haven't noticed. I get to school on time while people are still searching for parking spots. I am almost completely independent from you but it's hard to carry all my work on my back. I'm working on that though. I just wanted to say that we had good times together. You powered my car so that I can get to the beach, school or work. Now don't get sentimental on me and don't start attacking my bike. It's not her fault. My bike may leave my crotch sore, but you do realize that you have been relentlessly sodomizing me without any emotion or care? Not to mention my bank account has plunged greatly because of you. That's not the point, the point is that I want you to stop harassing people. Stop making us feel like we need you because we don't. There are other ways.
I will part with a song we both know and love by The Manhattans.
Arrivederci!
You won't be missed.
PS this is a picture me and my bike while I was working on her body...
I know, I'm immature. What can I say? I'm just GENUINELY HAPPY.
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